Gimme five bees for a quarter, you'd say

I’m starting to think that Northeastern Pennsylvania (NEPA, as we say in the business) is the Grampa Simpson capital of the world. When my aunt and uncle and their friends get together I’m astounded by what comes out of their mouths. I mean, I’m no liberal (or conservative, for that matter) but I’ve lived south of the Mason-Dixon and never heard things like that. (I won’t go into details but don’t ever mention Obama in their presence. They won’t even buy an O on Wheel of Fortune) But, it’s certainly not just them. On one of the local evening news programs in Scranton they have a feature called “Talkback” which is where the local Grampa Simpsons get to call into the station and leave messages regarding their opinions.

I feel bad for the anchor guy. He’s cute, probably just out of some college broadcasting school and has to introduce each nut job’s message every day. Last week a woman called in and said that the station used the word “county” too many times during the newscast and that they should stop. The anchor, Norm Jones, thought it was as funny as I did and slightly made light of her call. A few days later some old guy called in and said the anchor was being snarky (I thought that word was retired) and said they should ship him off to Haiti and leave him there. I can’t wait for his next call.

There are too many states these days. Please eliminate three. I am not a crackpot.